.

nimuny.

2011-05-18T18:17:00.002+05:00

i thought id leave it blank. but i guess my blog deserves a goodbye.

everything has to end someday.

i'll leave the archives as it is. i loved that part of my life.
now, for something new.

coloured skinny collection.

2011-05-15T21:24:00.001+05:00

took me some time to finish it, but finally! got most of the usual colours.
its my way of saying "guuys, stop it. please!"

oh and if i you are in the photo, i didn't mean to hurt your feelings. but please throw those away!!

the most unproductive year of my life.

2010-11-22T12:26:00.005+05:00

lets see. got a job alright. but its the same thing everyday. i guess thats what happens everywhere, but i thought this would be temporary. i thought id be off somewhere studying my ass off. but no, im here, in maldives. jobbing.
and relationship-wise? omg, ive been single for 10 months. i have been so distant from the "dating world" while i was in relationships and i dont have a fucking idea how to flirt anymore. i like the time-off but i have nothing else to concentrate on.

but on the "brighter side", i made a whole lot of new friends. had fun at eydhafushi during eid. reconnected with cousins on both sides of my family. now can manage to talk to guys without shying up. and can be ruder to people. i got a new camera. and love every shiny red bit of it. plus the money from work makes me happy. so does ebay.

but *sigh
i wanna go study! they just don't have scholarships for interior design. either that or im very bad at looking.

lets look at the brighter side then. thats what everyone would say!

image (c) .me
a koosani photo i took at work the other day

male' maguthah!

2010-10-25T19:58:00.004+05:00

okay, so there are two types of people.
the type who know how to walk on the street. and those who don't. and i DO know how to. and im not saying this because im me and all. *eyeroll.
well, i have to walk from home to work, work to home. four times everyday. i seriously hate the route now. which is majeedhee magu btw.
in the morning, i walk in a bangaalhee line. yes, line. they smell, but atleast they do know how to walk.
and around 4, THE WHOLE WORLD is out on the road. EVERYONE! i might just kill someone one day. the slow walk. the pavement is tiny, two, three people might come your way, you get to one side, but NO! they all have to come together in one horizontal line! and BAM BAM BAM! urgh.
i don't even walk on the pavement anymore. i walk in the middle of the road.
people on vehicles might loa alhaningz me, but i don't CARE! i hate other pedestrians too!

but hey! its a free country! litter all you want. happudu thalhaningz on the road. walk slowly. or crawl. i can't do anything about it!! except baarah buri thalhuvaafa hingun!!!

walking is now a mission.
walk fast. don't look at people. don't collide with people.
reach home safely. without getting angry.

i will strangle someone one day.

or maybe practice giving a "im gonna kill you" look to those people.
whatever.

seriously can't wait to go to Eydhafushi for eid.

image (c) .me
yeah, it doesn't go well with the post, but im too busy walking on the road when there are more people okay?

six months, same thing.

2010-10-11T20:25:00.004+05:00

something i drew about six months back. i put it inside my pen holder in the office and forgot about it. i noticed it again the other day, and oh god, i still feel the same way.
how is it even possible?
oh the horrid feeling.

-__-

i need to do something.
fast.

red light on my life.

2010-09-21T12:28:00.003+05:00

stuck. oh the horrid feeling. for the past few months.
doing the same boring thing everyday. yeah ive got friends, i have good moments. but its just.. stuck.
maybe the feeling became more prominent when my friends started leaving for their studies. sometimes i feel hopeless, i do. i didn't get awesome marks. i don't stand a chance against the good marks libun people when in line for scholarships. and now the results of the last batch is out. less chance. stuck again.

and i don't know what to right now.
yes, stuck.

image (c) .me
flickr

personal goals! *fundu fundu vaa adu!!

2010-09-16T00:04:00.004+05:00

so ive had this list on the sidebar for more than an year. things i wanna do after my A levels. Ive done some, and failed some. let me just take you through it.
Things i actually managed to do:

.one. go somewhere out of Maldives
i did go to lanka twice! once with munshi. and then with my family. both trips were fun and very very precious to me!

.four. bodu dhathureh dhiyun, with some people
yeay! i actually managed to do that! with my closest aminiya buddies, we went to a falhu rah and had awesome fun!

.se^en. make a new friend
ive got tonnes of new friends! =D

.eight. go to a sleep over at someone's place, anyone will do
technically i did sleep over at munshi's thitha's place in lanka. so that counts! also in eydhafushi when i went for eid!

.nine. smile more
=D!

.ten. learn to cook
i dont follow recipes much, ekam ingey dhen kakkan when mom guides me. so i guess that counts?

.eleven. paint my room red again
yeayy its red!!

.thirteen. buy a heera pannaa dhalhu
yeah bought it!!

.20. go cloud photographing

FAILED!!

.two. go to Eydhafushi, and stay there for atleast a month!
couldn't do that. was too pre occupied with spending time with friends. although i did manage to go there and stay for more than a week eid dhuvaskolhu last year. plan to go there for eid this year too! =D

.three. do a bodukundhinge cake course
hehe, got tired of cakes. i do bake cakes at home, for b days and such. and people like it, so no need for pretty decorations!!! hehe

.five. throw out my books
i did throw half of it though!

.six. colour my hair red
it was ORANGE! now its brown =S

.twelve. pierce my ear, or something like that
.4-teen. buy my own softlan fulhi and smell smell smelll
.15. make a new template
.sixteen. sit in a joalifathi listening to music all night
.seventeen. make one of those disco eley thingies like in la femme, they didn't sell it!!!
.8-een. get a scar
.nineteen. move to Forks, meet Edward and become a Vampire

you know me, im lazy!

image (c) .me

2010-06-04T12:59:00.003+05:00

i have a cousin who loves dreaming. day dreaming, dreaming while sleeping. all of it. im not much of a daydreamer now. but she, she made me love dreaming.

i love sleeping. lying around on the bed. waiting for it to come.
but now, sleeping has a whole new meaning to it. dreaming. its awesome. i thought i forgot the dreams i see. but all i needed to do was just remember. try to remember.
the dreams i see are, good. i haven't seen a nightmare yet. id like to keep it that way.
but in order to dream more, i have to sleep more. and thats affecting another part of my life.

*sigh

and now im torn between my dreamland and reality.

image (c) .me flickr

2010-05-29T12:25:00.003+05:00

its not like i don't want to write. i do. i just don't have time to get into the mood. im not good with time management. i should be.

20 years and 1 week. thats how old i am. i don't feel different. maybe coz i dont care about my age much. i grow, i learn. thats all. i like 20, 20 is good so far.

i promised myself i wouldn't repeat the same mistakes ive made in my past. my mistakes are very small compared to some of the stuff other people have done. nevertheless, they are my mistakes, and a huge deal to me. but im going back to the same things ive done before. i dont want to. but it feels.. good. to want something i couldnt have before. the idea of having it, its.. fascinating.

im just like another human being. i want things i cannot have. i like to dream about what i would do if i get it. when i get it.
its so close, yet so far.

and sometimes i wonder what i would want after i get this thing i want.

2010-04-23T12:34:00.003+05:00

oh god ive missed writing.

im doing the same things over and over again. its like im not learning anything from my experiences. like im trapped inside a never ending loop.
urgh. i don't like being depressed. i don't like thinking. i like not thinking. not thinking is good.
but not to think is hard. its not me. i think. but i like not to think. bleh.
why am i thinking of thinking so much?

days like these, are hard. the fake smiles. trying to smile a genuine smile. trying to make myself okay. its hard. with people around. mini why the frown? nothing i say. i cant express myself around here.

its like a phase okay? comes and goes. emmengeves. its not like im the only one.

sometimes i like to sit back and watch what other people do. how much they want to do it. and most of the time, i have to lead them. im tired of being in charge. but if im not, it'll never happen. and not happening, sucks.

sigh.

but i'll be okay. i'm always okay.
its not like anyone cares anyway.

i got tagged, twice!

2010-02-11T01:52:00.000+05:00

1. Special about 2009?
i finally finished school!

2. Special New comer to your life?
a lot of new friends!

3. Unforgettable moment of the year?
the day i did my last exam, the fun we had on the road. was totally awesome.

4. Happiest moment of 2009?
i can't exactly remember the date, but it was the moment i realized that i really really liked someone.
oh, and after finishing my dhivehi and islam exams i was like "yeayy!!" no more of those!!!

5. Saddest moment of 2009?
thedhah bunanyaa, liyaakah beynumeh noon! =p

6. The biggest change happen to you during 2009?
oh you know, the school ending thing! hehe

7. Fav month during 2009?
August and May

8. New thing you did in 2009?
Pis, same answer to everything! i did a lot of new stuff, like.. finished school!

9.How was the year 2009?
it was totally okay, ups and downs. like any other year.

10. Funniest moment?
like every time i spent with my friends laughing my ass off. those were the funniest i suppose!

11. Who did you call the most in 2009?
hehe, i think its a tie between maasha and rifu! i call them before going to school everyday, plus other times!

12. 3 Resolutions for 2010?
guess im a lil late for this! so skiip!

13. TAGG 3:
i guess, munshi, and muawwaz! and anjelica!

2010-01-12T15:18:00.001+05:00

whats the most disturbing construction site noise?

i hate the tile cutting sound! and i'm hearing it right now!
turning up the volume of music.
muuch better!

2010-01-09T01:49:00.002+05:00

so i was chatting with this iththi gandu! and he was like, mini ge mi post haadha salhi ey! e post haadha salhi ey! dhen bunany ingey, abadhu kommehen amilla life vaahaka eh liyaani kameh netho. poems liyaasho. noony fictional stories or something.
i don't do those stuff, so i wrote about him! xD

so he inspired me to blog again
and i will!

bleh

2009-10-14T00:00:00.004+05:00

blogging used to be a way to unwind myself. i complain a lot. and i do it better by writing instead of talking. and i used this. but somehow, all the people i know, know my blog. and yes, it is annoying.
when i first started out, i used to write more about the people around me. easy for me, nobody knew. but now, i have to encrypt what i want to say, because i might hurt someone, and heaven forbid, i shouldn't!
encryption, isn't easy business. and not complaining isn't easy either. whenever i feel like complaining, i talk to my wall and it comforts me by not giving me any comments. sucks. but i'll survive.
i even removed my blog from the website links from my facebook profile page, because, i don't want my family members or former classmates taking a sneak peek at this life i have. its like this, i have different social groups. family, real friends, internet buddies and then, you guys. and i don't like mixing everything. but somehow its all tangled up!
*sigh
i'll go write in my diary.

something i'll never understand!

2009-09-24T04:20:00.003+05:00

life's short,
so why so much DRAMA?!

finally better than okay

2009-08-16T20:17:00.005+05:00

ive always wanted to write one of those "how the last year changed my life" kinda post. mostly people do it at the end of the year or on their birthdays. and me? well, i figured id do it sometime random, sometime like now.
okay, so its not exactly a "how the last year changed my life" kinda post. its just a life update post kinda thingie.
hmm, lets see.
i finished my A levels, and i don't think i'll do very well. no im not one of those exceptionally talented "bright" students who always say that they'll get bad results and end up getting all distinctions. im just me, and i don't think i'll get good grades. bothers me a lil, but well, can't do much about it now can i?
and yes, i miss school terribly. i miss waking up in the morning, i miss having a timetable. i miss my tuitions. i miss hanging out with my friends everyday. but its life, i'll get over it.
what else?
yeah you must have heard about the lanka trip from shweet. it was fun. just the two of us. it definitely was a new experience. i learned to play with money, real money. definitely not like playing monopoly. and i used my wallet for the first time. i don't have any money to carry here so, hurray for me eh? plus it was a parent free trip, the best.
and i'm doing nothing right now. kinda sucks. i have nothing to do. im in this LOST phase. watching it from the beginning. everything makes sense now. but those who don't watch the show. what a loss. its good entertainment. and doing nothing is boring sometimes. i don't get bored to the core but im always around there somewhere. except nights. nights are great.

so, ive finished school. waiting for my results. doing nothing.
oo and yeah,
im happy. after a long time of being just okay.
:)

image (c) .me flickr
just a lil bit of lanka

20 random things about me

2009-07-24T09:17:00.003+05:00

1. wear burugaa

2. know hindi, aap kaise ho?

3. think im very very fat, don't tell me im not!

4. shy, very

5. love coke! its the best!

6. love to stay indoors as much as going out

7. like twitter more than facebook, facebook dhen maa kanthah fala ee!

8. want a very good camera! lens lavvaa vahtharu!

9. very bad with shopping for gifts, specially for men! so i have munshi to help me! :D

10. hate gardening, the soil, the work! pis pis!

11. love to break the rules i make for myself, ehennoony dhuniye majaleh nuvaanu dho? :P

12. don't like talking about myself, mives varah undhagulun mi visneny!

13. love to hang out with people, love to have fun, adhi bandah thadhuvandhen heyn, fuuun!

14. hard to choose favourites among things such as song, artists, food, nikan drink ahaabala :P coke!

15. love my family to death, love love love them!

16. really sarcastic, heeveytha?

17. love walking, dhen male' ga why use transport dho? :P

18. really self-conscious!

19. cutting onions makes me cry like a baby, wahh!!

20. happy that muuthi tagged me :D i wasn't expecting it! :D

i tag munshi, anjelica and xeeko!

an update with a rainbow

2009-07-05T02:36:00.007+05:00

a friend asked why i wasn't blogging. i told him that its because i have nothing to blog about. and then he told me to blog about that. i'm sorry dude, but i'm not gonna do that =P

hmm, what have i been up to eh?
well, i have been having fun! and about the list? don't even talk about it! i've done some of the stuff, but will do others and then maybe let you know later.
i've actually been reading, and hanging out with my cousins a lot these days. its fun. its like taking a long long long vacation or something. i would eventually have to do something, but i'm not thinking about it much at the moment.

life's pretty okay, thats why i don't blog. plus the whole politics stuff on internet is driving me crazy! sorry i haven't been commenting much.

i'll surely update when something sad happens =P

image (c) .me flickr
first rainbow capture

better late than never real life thingie

2009-06-11T22:05:00.003+05:00

i asked someone a question one day
and i never got the reply
i wondered why he never replied

finally i realized it some days back
when someone else asked me the same question
and when i realized why i didn't want to reply

better late than never eh? :P

image (c) .me flickr

and its a lil confusig..

2009-05-17T21:42:00.003+05:00

life is a constant battle to be loved
we message the people who ignore us
we study hard to get good grades, to make our parents proud
we do favours for friends, so they do not abandon you in your time of need

and sometimes
to be loved,
we just do nothing...

this is me.

2009-05-06T21:50:00.000+05:00

day before yesterday.
hard times are coming, well, its kinda already here. yep. thats right. exams. and lets see whot else. campaign days? yep yep yep. annoying campaign songs? sure, why not? oh yeah it will end on 9th. so whot? it made the islam exams nearer. when is it? oh this THURSDAY! am i freaking out? nah, not yet. why do it now when i'll do it best on wednesday? what can you do to help? oh nuthing. wish me luck. whatever. oh wait, that won't help. it never helps. whats the cherry on top of my worry cake? bad nightmares. do they make sense? kinda. what is it about? personal. really? yep! am i crazy? nope. you think i am? yes. but i am not. am i normal? i ain't normal either. whats worrying you? oh you know, the slow computer, the hot climate, typical maldivian behaviour. and then..? oh the whole dunno what im gonna do in the future? shut the fuck up and stop asking me coz i dunno what im gonna do and its alright not to know but stupid people asking me such stupid questions gets on my nerves.

today
im alright.

rude rude rude

2009-04-22T21:34:00.002+05:00

i wanna be rude

and you'll go like you can be rude to who ever you wanna be
and you'll ask whose stopping me
and you know what? nobody is
but being rude is just rude
and i keep making rude conversations in my mind
and i talk rude to myself

and know what?
i still wanna be rude

2009-04-16T21:05:00.003+05:00

ugh, life!
most of my friends have their lives figured out, they have boyfriends to marry after an year or so or sometime! and a carrier.
and when i meet people and talk about it, i realize how unready i am. i seriously have no clue with what im gonna do after school. i run around making lists with hope that i do something without doing anything. but i dunno what i should do after that. whats next?
but then i realize that thats the thrill in my life. im not stuck on a fantasy island or im not going to a high school in beverly hills to have that much of drama in my life.
and i chose all of what i did over these few months to make my life a lil bit spontaneous. and it is. its slow, but its still spontaneous. slontaneous. and its due to the exams.
and if it doesnt get more exciting after the exams, maybe ill try finding a guy, set a marriage date, be a housewife and think of getting five kids.
now that would be interesting!

image (c) .me flickr

2009-04-05T05:39:00.000+05:00

im busy with me exams
so go check my flickr or something
and wish me luck ^.^

2009-03-19T21:09:00.000+05:00

the list

2009-03-16T10:46:00.001+05:00

well, im posting this due to a request by the "nameless" he/she wanted to comment on this list of mine which has been down there all this time
feel free to suggest me some more crazy stuff
i want crazier stuff now coz the exams are starting to get deep into my head

things i wanna do after i finish my A levels

.one. go somewhere out of Maldives
.two. go to Eydhafushi, and stay there for atleast a month!
.three. do a bodukundhinge cake course
.four. bodu dhathureh dhiyun, with some people
.five. throw out my books
.six. colour my hair red
.se^en. make a new friend
.eight. go to a sleep over at someone's place, anyone will do
.nine. smile more
.ten. learn to cook
.eleven. paint my room red again
.twelve. pierce my ear, or something like that
.thirteen. buy a heera pannaa dhalhu
.4-teen. buy my own softlan fulhi and smell smell smelll
.15. make a new template
.sixteen. sit in a joalifathi listening to music all night
.seventeen. make one of those disco eley thingies like in la femme, they didn't sell it!!!
.8-een. get a scar
.nineteen. move to Forks, meet Edward and become a Vampire
.20. go cloud photographing

n so it continues...

sharafiyyage maama

2009-03-12T21:38:00.001+05:00

(click for full view)
my younger brother, well, he's a sweet♥!
this is a story he wrote, read without the corrections ingey!

and i still feel the same way sometimes!

2009-03-08T15:51:00.001+05:00

from my "diary"
28th July 2007

dog dog!

2009-03-02T12:33:00.000+05:00

saw it on a safari outside hulhumale'
and no, its not plastic or anything :P i heard it bark!

mini's law of dhuruvun

2009-02-25T12:49:00.002+05:00

"biteh negyma friends are dhuruvaane"

so this is me trying to spread the message to my msn buddies
don't fall in love
yes im selfish
but i'm a good friend, aren't i?
^.^

dhufun

2009-02-20T14:03:00.003+05:00

as a child, i was banned from dhufun. why? coz its unhealthy and bad for our teeth. rules were really strict when i was young. no dhufun just means no dhufun. but still i tried it out. (well yeah, i was a kid and i am a curious person) anyways, it tasted real bad. i hate anything to do with dhufaa echis.
but then i was exposed to supaari's and killi. i tried them too. supaari tastes good, but i never chewed them. i raha balanings and then threw out the rest. and killi, eves dhen rangalhu raha eh dhenyaa fonikolhu boalaafa into to the dustbin. yes i had a "i love supaari and killi" phase but thats over.
i never understood the concept of dhufun. at first i thought that you eat it after a meal or so on. but yesterday i saw a classmate eat a killi during the first period, so i asked him whether you can eat it anytime. i don't remember his answer although i remember another friend saying that she can eat it anytime, heylaafa, nidhamun, but she brushes her teeth frequently before and after.
my tuitionmates eat foah constantly during tuition, and class hours. which bothered a teacher coz they were eating it without sharing it with him. turned out he doesn't dhufanings either.
and with the dhufun comes the famous raiy kulhugandu. yes, the big fat ones on the road. we see a lot of people do that, a lot of them on the road. disgusting. and i don't understand the concept. isn't it like chewing and swallowing? then what does this raiy kulhugandu comes from? is it the extra stuff you want to throw away? if its extra stuff, why take so much ehfaharaa? =S

from the things ive tried, i like fonithoshi, heera panna (i luurrve heera panna!), annnd bilaiganduga hunna jelly thingies
but after a meal, i like a glass of water more than those things

image (c) .me
my sis dhufanings, shes dhufumuge master

madness

2009-02-14T20:28:00.003+05:00

be with the person who loves you instead the person you love. makes any sense?
yeah it does doesn't it? you think its easy? no it ain't. it isn't easy at all. if you are looking for someone who loves you instead of the person you love, what about the person who loves you? doesn't that person deserve someone who loves him/her too?
okay, so lets say you love someone, and that person doesn't love you back. the relationship fails. he moves on, and you are left to collect the pieces. you get sad. cry like mad. but in the end, you get over it. you have to. either that or commit suicide.
my mum told me to get a person who loves me, instead of getting a person i love. everything will be happy then. but look how that turned out. i ended up hurting a good guy, and i regret every moment of it. it just isn't possible. maybe its coz im this "i don't care" type of girl, who just act on impulses. i don't give a damn about anything. im not ready to commit. im not ready to say i love you to someone. im just not ready to do anything of that sort. and i just cannot wrap my mind around what my mum said.
how can i or anyone, be with a person who you don't love? you can like him maybe, but can that exist?
the feeling of the euphoria, the happiness you get when you hear that person's voice, the heart skipping a beat each time you see him. thats love.
so in my opinion, if you are with someone who loves you, you are really selfless. coz you are deliberately not feeling the best feeling in the world. the best damn thing.
its good to be in love. to be crazy. to be happy. to remember the koosani silly dates and numbers. to treasure the texts and lil memories of being together.
love has its own magic.
so be happy if you have it. if you feel it. and if you don't, you can always try. trying is good. hurting, is bad.
yes, i think ive gone mad.

image (c) .me flickr

about starting the birthday blog

2009-02-07T08:32:00.003+05:00

im thinking of starting the b day blog again, but i'll only be able to make it special if only you guys try too, i cannot always write birthday wishes and stuff for bloggers i don't know and all
so, visit the BIRTHDAY BLOG, write your birthday in the shoutbox so that i can include it in the list, and if you want to wish your friend or someone, mail it to bdayblog@gmail.com

ps- thanx to nass coz he was the one who made me remember that i still have that blog ^.^

i think i think too much.

2009-02-06T12:53:00.002+05:00

somethings bothering me, and i don't know what it is. typical me eh? so, i don't think. but im forced to think coz something i don't know is bothering me. so, i decided to think. but there are so many possibilities. the fact that there was a red line under the word "are" when i wrote now. it could be something to do with school, friends, family or my house. it could be anything! so think i should not think.

so, let me complain

2009-02-02T17:57:00.003+05:00

CHSE started with a bang. it was fun at first. we were able to take our mobiles to school. girls and boys can be classmates after three years. activity uniform rocks coz we can wear jeans and slippers. and we can go outside when we have free periods and so on.
the happiness lasted just for an year.
this year is HORRIBLE! they first banned the mobile phones, which is okay i suppose. then they banned us from going outside during free periods. i was totally devastated coz i get atleast one free period each day. and at first it was fun and all, but now its such a drag. i hate my free periods, hate hate hate! jeans were banned too, which is also okay. BUT! last night, oh man oh man, i was so pissed off (eventhough it was fun) i went wearing black shoes, black! BLACK!!!! but still they sent me out coz i had a single silver stripe on it. single frikkin stripe! and a friend of mine was sent out coz she didn't wear socks.
i just don't get why they are so interested in changing the rules when they cannot. coz obviously they can't monitor everyone going in through the gates. some of my friends slipped in last night too. and even today there were those wearing aadhaige shoes without socks!
all of the rules are put onto us at the same time. during the first days we kinda did a petition thing but it didn't work coz it was doomed from the start. CHSE is just like any other school, with stupid teachers (except few) and with stupid rules. its like im in Aminiya again, with boys around.
one thing im glad about, im gonna finish next june. poor dhen annan thibi jeel!

image: CHSE main site canteen

okay okay so, this is another stupid post

2009-01-29T13:04:00.003+05:00

have you ever observed someone drinking water? or anything from a glass? if you haven't please do, coz its kinda funny. you can observe from all angles, front, side, back. and its funny!
different people make different expressions, so its is different all the time. :P i first noticed it when my younger brother (the one in the photo above) was drinking water. it was like he was suffering from some horrrible disease or something. reechah eyny coz i said i wanted to take a photo. (first he asked whether i was gonna put in on flickr, when i said no, he asked whether i was gonna put it on fb, and i said no. i told him that i was gonna put his photo on a secret community where people talked about the younger brothers and stupid stuff they do, he said i was mean!)
annyways, please do observe people ingey :P
and one more thing, i cannot drink from small glasses, coz i have a big nose -.-

and peepz! look at this photo!theres this dude whose nominating himself for some election thingie in March or sometime (i even dunno what it is) and he was sending yummy cakes to every house! i mean like, he's mad i guess. i even feel sad coz i aint gonna vote for him. but what i thought was, if hes gonna send cakes now, (i mean in January), he could like, send ANYTHING when the elections are near :P
some way to bribe people, cake! yummy too!

and yes, had to end the post with some coke, coca cola enjoy~

a mixed post

2009-01-21T16:52:00.001+05:00

sometime back, i stopped expecting things from people. and it turned out pretty well. im quite surprised at the amount of times ive been surprised by random acts of kindness and sweetness by friends and family =P
for instance, i needed a new phone coz my old one's, well, almost broken. and i told him to get the red one if it is possible. i found out that he bought the red one by waiting for like an hour at that place. yeah, he's the sweetest brother ever ^.^
also, the post written by suja sometime back, i never expected anything of that sort because i barely knew him. and then there are my closest buddies, i seriously cannot live without them anymore. im addicted to them! one of them writes sweet sms's, thanking the rest of us for doing things for her. the other one laughs till she has tears in her eyes, and never likes any of her own photos! and the other one (eye roll) is just the bestest buddy ever, i practically live in her house now! even my 18th birthday was so sweet! i got like everything i ever wanted at that time =D. so many people called! i was surprised =P. but its just not only on the birthdays when people are sweet. my younger brother told me that his english teacher is ugly and horrible, when i asked him about me he said that im just beautiful and too fat, which is a compliment coming from him!
what else, my loabi loabi classmates, they are the bestest ever! i'm so gonna miss them after i finish school. the crack on munshi's class thalhungandu. the fcuk on the wall. the mosquitoe maran inna boki which is broken now. the lips on the class switch. (oh wait, these are the things im gonna miss after i finish school dho? thats another post!)
oh welllll, everything is sweet now! life's good! january exams are over. i'm gonna start studying for the may june exams soon (eye roll) and internet is good. life's good. happy. family. friends. life. okay.

and so i write.

2009-01-09T00:13:00.003+05:00

i was born a shy child. it was really difficult for me to interact with people, although i was my true self around the few people i grew up with. most of the time the shyness was mistaken as being self-centred or not having the guts to do things, but i am just shy. i was too young to understand all of this then, but i guess ive grown eh? :P
i kinda hated boys when i was young. almost all of us hate the opposite sex when we were young eh? anyways, i always knew that i would end up being with someone, you know, marry, get kids, that stuff. so i was really really careful about what i do. i always thought of ways i would meet my mr. right. but as i am shy, i just couldn't think of a way.
and then, i was introduced to internet. msn. chatting. lots of people. lots of guys. during the first week, i met a guy who said the stupid "i love you". i was flattered, lil did i know that men (and women) lie on msn. :P anyways, i said no. and i believed that i "broke" his heart. days passed, i fell in love with another guy i met on msn. he's a good person and all, but i was afraid, and shy ofcourse to be with him in person. maybe that is why it didn't work out.
but then, i finished my o levels, i worked in CDC, where i was supposed to interact with people and talk and have guts. and afterwards i went to CHSE where i met a lot of guys, and they aren't scary at all. i must say that eventhough i hesitate sometimes, i can be me around people now. which im actually proud of! although its still easier for me to express myself by writing rather than talking.
i kinda quit msn sometime back. i am tired of the people who say "i love you" so carelessly, without thinking twice. why do they just toss it around like that? i don't understand. i cannot come to terms with that. and thats why, i wrote.

image: trying to play a prank on a teacher

something on my mind.

2009-01-08T19:18:00.004+05:00

a lot of us live "forced" lives, some think that its bad, and others don't think at all? i have friends who have given up their dreams to live the life their parents want them to live in. and they tend to blame it on their parents ofcourse. but still, they go through it and become something, or whatever. and to be honest, i don't think that anyone, ANYONE! could just live a "forced" life controlled by another human being. why? because theres a limit to everything. even a limit to a person's patience and trust me, it comes really really soon.
so, if your parents tell you to do something, you do it either to make them happy, or just for some other reason. so its not exactly being forced right? what im trying to say is kinda confusing, but i hope you understand. =S
for example, you are in a relationship. its bad. he cheats on you, lies to you and does whatever comes to his mind, and treats you badly. but what do you do? you love him, so you just do whatever he tells you to do. later, after you have broken up, he becomes a controller. you say he forced you to do those things. but not the complete truth eh? it happened because you let it happen.
upto pretty recently, i thought that my parents were really bad. i mean, all i wanted to do was to go out, hang out with my friends, and you know, chill..!! but i wasnt allowed to, and i blamed them ofcourse. i thought that they have trust issues and all. plus i was young and naive?! anyways, i blamed them, but now i know that some part of me said to do what they told me to do, and now i understand that they are really really great parents. because if they would have let me to do whatever i wanted to do, i would just have been a totally other person whome id never like.
i don't know why im writing this, and why i drew that. its just something on my mind.

mioh kameh balaabala!

2009-01-08T01:19:00.004+05:00

annoying and varah bolah vanna vahtharu, specially coz its always on tv, but hilarious!

the right time?

2009-01-03T01:17:00.000+05:00

my eighteen year old friend got married yesterday. when i heard the news that she was going to marry, i was shocked at first. and then i learnt why she was doing it. but more importantly, i realized that she was ready for it. she was ready to be with the one she loved. i guess that when you find that one person, no reason to wait eh?
(sigh)
everyone's getting married! and i don't want to. not soon anyway.

( i actually wrote the upper part on 2nd Jan, and then..)

tonight, munshi and my friends, we were talking about marriages coz munshi's sis got married recently. the majority of them (huge eye roll) wants to get married soon too. and one of them (varah varah body eye roll) has two plans! and im like, wtf?! o.O (seriously!) and munshi asked why i don't wanna get married soon. i have a couple of reasons; (lists aa rulhivegeneh noolhevunennu!)

1. i have to find the "one"
2. money, don't wanna depend on anyone
3. want to study more
4. need to think everything through, i need a plan too, so in order to make a plan, i need time
5. time, to get to know the person i'll be with
6. time to figure out what to do with my life
8. coz i'm weird
9. have to mentally and physically prepare for stuff, time!
(skipped 7. coz it will be something to do with time)

and i thought of these while munshi mengeyga boduberu jahanings, which was biruveri ofcourse
i'll never enjoy boduberu again
(sigh)

image (c) .me flickr
munshi sis wedding theme, peacock feathers

neynge.

2008-12-30T16:34:00.003+05:00

life? a question? everything? a question? what do i know? i don't know. neynge, is the simplest answer. call me a fool. call me anything. call me something. want to know? why? whats the point in knowing? to increase your IQ? tell me, whats the point? do i doubt myself? yes, every moment of everyday. why? neynge. pray, have faith? sure, i do. does it help? sometimes, sometimes it doesn't. love? yes, i have a lot of people who love me. me? yes. i wonder why too. do i know why? no. why? neynge. burn me alive. drop me from the sky. drown me in a lake. kill me with a sword. is death better than this? no. so? i just want to be. why? neynge. is there anything to look forward to? the usual stuff. like? education, marriage, kids, dying. dying? yes. why? neynge. nothing better? no. why? neynge. do you like to say neynge? neynge. why? neynge. neynge. neynge.

rulhi

2008-12-28T18:53:00.000+05:00

sometimes a word you say when you are irritated due to the actions of a person. sometimes when you want to break up with someone. and sometimes just for fun.
i say it a lot. without meaning it most of the time. almost all of the time.

so today, i wanna make a list. a list of things i wanna be rulhi with. some with meaning, others for fun.

i'm rulhi with;
lists, im making a lot of them these days
food
cockroaches
rats that fight on the roof
my room
my computer
all the people who thinks im stupid
facebook
my sleep
msn
my foot
and,
everything else im angry with which ive forgotten right now

dhen 3 days ah vureh ginain rulhi vegen hunnaakah nuvaane dho? (sigh)

go on, make a list. might make you happier, or feel weird. whatever.

when im sad,

2008-12-23T02:56:00.002+05:00

i cry until my eyes, my nose and my whole face is red. i curl myself. hug my teddy or pillow tightly. slowly stroke my own hair. comfort myself by saying that all of its gonna be okay. sleep. wake up. and never think about it again.

hihi huhu haha

2008-12-21T00:05:00.004+05:00

whenever i see a couple, the first question that pops into my mind is "how did they meet?". like most of the maldivians, i like to know stories; even if they are fake. sweet, cheesy romantic stories are things i lurrrve. but i haven't heard any of those from a real couple yet.
with that question, comes on how intimate they are with each other. nothing i think about much, but i think its at the back of everyones mind when they see couples together. like, for example, if you see people touching and hugging infront of everyone, the general idea is that they are really close and they do all of those "stuff" together.
specially when in school. you cannot touch a person from the other sex. if someone sees you, then its the end. your parents will be called and everything of that sort will be done.
but there are a lot of couples in CHSE, and its fun to watch them. holding hands, hanging out at the library or in the canteen. some even bihi kottanings :P
and with them comes the rumours! some are pretty nasty, others are true! and even if it isn't, its fun to pass around those fake ones, to build up some excitement ofcourse.
aah and the crushes, "aharen eyna ah e sitee liyunee aharen eyna dheke HAQEEQEE loabi vaathy!" someone said to someone :P hilarious! i was like :O when i heard about that, coz i heard like varahhh fahun. and crushes like, come and go, come and go, come and go. you might like a girl today, if she rejects, you'll like her friend tomorrow. its that simple, ain't it?!
the only thing im happy about is that in our class, no one fancies another person, and its all friends in the class. if there were anyone, and if they broke up, it would have been the end of everyone else! naseebennu dho? :P
ooo! coke ad on tv! im goin to watch!!

2008-12-14T00:10:00.003+05:00

fear.. i guess it comes out naturally
my theory (yes i haven't done any research on this either) is that its something to do with a horrible memory which scared you at some point and then later you get frightened when that happens to you

for instance, my sister
last year, during ramazan, a burgler came into our house and my sister was the one who saw this person and after that, shes scared like hell. even this year on the same day (the 13th of ramazan) she was almost trembling saying that the burgler will come back. thats when the whole shouting while eating haaru incident happened! she even checks if the doors are locked everynight.

then there are my close friends
they are afraid of cats. runs when they see a cat maa dhurun. and the funny part is that they always, ALWAYS! see cats. like allll the time! when we went for a walk the other day, we saw 3 cats, 3 cockroaches and a bondu :D

and then there are the reactions
like when you see something you are scared of, you naturally scream. and run away? or maybe stay frozen? i don't know. ummm.. i know that i shout when someone else shouts, or maybe when i see a cockroach or something while someone's around. because i don't shout that much. i think.. even when munshi and i were on the frog jump, she was shouting and i wasn't. and it made me think that maybe i'm not letting go that much. hmm.. who knows!

i've never been scared scared of anything. jinni and stuff does scare me, coz i believe in them. and i was okay with cats until munshi and people started freaking out while i went to rafla's place. and now i naturally run away when the cats come near. and insects, yeah they give me goosebumps! but i don't think thats because i'm scared or anything. my sister's fear is making me jumpy too. she can really make someone believe in what she believes!

anyways, what are you scared of?

image (c) .me flickr

unfocused

2008-12-10T20:40:00.003+05:00

what if you decided to clean the room thoroughly and then later decided to just mathi mathin nimmaalun? but by the time you have decided to do the mathi mathin nimmaalun thingie, you have cleaned almost half of the room thoroughly..
now, what would you do?

i am confused
sometime back, i stopped caring
stopped anything do to with opening up
stopped wanting things
filled myself with other things
when i did those, i was happy with myself
i was satisfied with my decision

but now,
i want to change

ekam,
my life has been changed due to the previous decision
people will be affected if i change now

so,
here i am..
confused
unfocused
thinking
trying to do the better thing

(sigh)

2008-12-08T01:16:00.002+05:00

me is the missing things so terribly!

image

what i have been upto lately

2008-12-06T01:58:00.003+05:00

some cupcakes i made
meehaku moyavedhaane ennu!

these were made by others in the class

me doin some work

final product of the train cake

i lost the photo of the smilie cake
:(

feels like im living the same day over n over again

2008-11-28T23:20:00.006+05:00

my mind never stays at the same place, it keeps on wandering around
lets say, if you are talking to me about shopping, im most probably thinking about something like hitler and his cruelty or something

and yes, my mood, is very unpredictable
its more like a switch, it could be turned on really easily, but it could go off easily as well
i usually can control that switch, but tonight, i couldn't

you see,
i am reading this book, this awesome book
and i was kinda thinking about it while i was playing cards
anyways, what i realized was that my life is pretty mundane
the only exciting thing i did today was going to a party - of a one year old cousin who i really don't know

i mean, i don't want my life to be predictable
i want something more exciting! something spontaneous to happen
its not like i want it to be filled with unlimited drama
not something like my best friend being a werewolf or my school is filled with blood sucking vampires

i tried to change a lil
i hanged out with a couple of cousins the previous day, it was different
im reading after a long time
i watch movies
im doing this whole other thing which i'll post about later like next week
and im trying to take photographs of different things

BUT!
its still the same

i stopped reading because of this, because my imagination goes wild
beyond my wildest dreams, i build my home n i start living there
only to be let down by the reality

i just need something different to happen, something.. SOMETHING!!!
i'm calling out to you something!

image (c) .me flickr

pattern-ee

2008-11-24T19:03:00.004+05:00

.one. close your eyes
.two. rub it
.three. tell me what you see

i've always been amazed of the lil patterns which appear after i do that
when i was young, i used to do that a lot, and then i forgot about it
pretty recently, olhigen hedhunee ehen, and it was fuun!
if i start doing it, it'll be really difficult for me to stop, nimey iru hunnaany lolah thadhuvefa
i even tried researching, but i hate researching, i did for five minutes but couldnt find anything.. ehenve huttaaly o
ehemma aslu vaa gotheh neynge

ekam majaa dho?
try and tell me what you see :P

image (c) .me flickr

feet

2008-11-16T12:09:00.003+05:00

i truly haven't noticed them until my mom started talking about it
she loves to look at people's feet, maybe she likes to look at slippers and stuff, i ain't sure
so anyways,
yesterday, i was at some lecture thingie in social centre
i finished it but i still cannot understand most of it, i know that im more of an "i" person than a "we" person

ohkay, sooo,
i was kinda bored, and i started looking at people's feet
they don't take a lot of care of them huh? my own feet look like pieces of crap but there are people with nice feet, that is if they look nice, they have nice feet and if they don't, they don't!
and the shoes! tut tut
im no fashion expert but, high heels suck with ugly feet
but people still wear em'
atleast be like me, i know my feet are hideous, so i wear shoes!
shoes are good, neat, and cool!

and what else did i learn about me?
i'm a stabiliser, i hold grudges, get hurt easily and depend on others
somehow im remembering the bad stuff, i cannot remember anything good..
lets see.. we like teamwork, and.. harmony
enough of that now!

feet!!

conclusion: stupid post

one sided love

2008-11-12T10:22:00.000+05:00

i wonder about a lot of stuff but this is something i don't have to because ive done this for a long long time. one sided love, sounds pathetic. it is.
but still, people do it.. i mean fall in love

i mean, okay.. falling in love is something that happens, it cannot be controlled or done, just like that. so its pretty likely to fall in love with someone who doesn't love you back. now, the big question is to whether tell him or not

hummm.. lets see
if you tell him, you might lose your friendship
if you don't then you'll live a very pathetic life
pathetic, thats right
i mean, you will create your own fantasy world, and after sometime you'll just not be able to differentiate between the real world and the lil imaginations in your head. and then you end up living so horribly that you say that nothings wrong with you and end up being crazy!

but it takes a lot of imagination and a spoonful of courage to build this make believe world
and sometimes that world is just enough for a person

i'm just sad.. coz i wasted my life like that for a long time. so i just wanted to space out and spread my knowledge or whatever this is!

and btw, this is not about my current situation, im writing this because everyone knows me.. and i so hate that sometimes!

image (c) .me flickr

= )=) =) . (= (= (=

2008-11-07T22:04:00.001+05:00

and then i realized that i need more paper
oh well..!

alll the fish are swimming in the wahter

2008-10-24T18:40:00.003+05:00

oh hey hi my lil blog
i haven't been updating lately, and im sorry
its okay, i'll come back soon, and ill keep you all happy!

bleh, enough of that now

hey call me crazy but im kinda in this transition state with my life you know, sp2 hybridization stuff
annyways,
my exams are gonna finish in like a week or so, that is subtracting the election days
and after i finish my exams, i wanna do really crazy stuff with my friends

so gimme ideas, ideas!
about crazy out of the blue stuff i can do
and trust me, i'll keep you posted :P

this tagging stuff never ends

2008-10-16T19:55:00.005+05:00

1. What’s your latest addiction? flickr

2. What are you listening to? some "aah and oooh" song from a cartoon my sis is watching, nutcracker barbie thingie

3. How late did you stay up last night and why? i guess it was 10.30p.m, talking to my guy on the phone

4. Who were you with last Friday night? i don't know, cannot remember, maybe alone at home

5. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? ofcourse!

6. When is the next time you’ll see your close friends? close friends? all the time, saturdayga dhen schoolah dhaany, other close buddies are just away

7. What were you doing this morning at 7am? sitting in class, waiting for ihu to teach math

8. What radio station do you listen to the most? raajje fm.. everytime i shower that is

9. What was the reason you last cried? coz life is just unfair :D

10. Have you ever talked to someone when they were high? nah, i don't think so

11. What’s the fifth text in your inbox say? okay, this is funny now that its here :P it goes like, "mini, alhe ekkala maz gandu thakaa islam paper eh ves handhaan nethigen library copy nagaa thanuga bahahtaafa aadhevuny. eyru paper hus vegen nuneguny, alhe genesdhechey ingey plz. copy nagaafa kanneynge onnaanyves. alhe ethanah gos can u giv me a misd call? jazyl kairyves bunin. bt incase he 4gets. ingey?" now guess who it is from

12.Where was the last coffee shop u go to? the question is incorrect, i dont go to coffee shops and, stupid question

13. What’s ur outfit right now? pink t shirt and jeans

16. What were you doing at 11pm last night? dreaming i suppose, i had a nightmare!

17. Who was the last person you talked to last night before bed? my guy =)

18. Will you be driving in a year? nah, me dont think so

19. Is there anything that you are craving right now? a smaller camera

20. When did your last hug take place? today, i hugged my younger sis and bro, they came to hit me but i hugged them, aint i sweet? ^.^

22. Have you ever started a sentence with “No offense, but…”? loads of times, thank god they never took any

23. Do you drink tea? nah, it just tastes HORRIBLE!

24. Have you ever been arrested? nah, don't wanna be either

25. Have you rode in someone else’s car today? nope, i like walking better

26. Have you made a mistake this past week? yeah, so what? :P

27. Who was the last person you texted? fureeeeeku!

28. Are you happy with your life right now? i suppose so

29. In the past 72 hours have you been under the influence of sleep? errrm.. i guess not?

30. What’s the connection between you and the last person you texted? my chicken invader game partner who is better than me =D

so i tag dhondhooni and anjelica

sinful

2008-10-11T23:15:00.007+05:00

when i was young, i wanted to commit suicide
mostly because the idea fascinated me to the core
the thought of jumping from a huge building
cutting myself to let the blood drain out from my body
hanging myself on the fan with white bedsheets
drinking such a horrible poison that i'll instantly be dead
and drinking bleach (i got that idea from a dhivehi song, liyunu sitee ey.. hingaa raiy ley..)
these ideas, they captivated me

and then i used to think of the things that will happen after i die
how the people who loved me would react
i guess that's when i stopped imagining all of these horrible things
because i care, i care about the people around me
and i fear, i fear a lot, from god and the idea of going to hell

so what drives us to commit this huge sin?
everybody knows that committing suicide is a sin, something which will give you a direct ticket to hell
so why? why do you wanna do it?

i think it happens because you lack in the "having faith" department
the lack of having faith in god, in people you love, mostly in people who love you
can there be such a situation where you just cannot handle it anymore? ever felt like it?
yeah there are people with major, like MAJOR problems in their lives, but can you live with the feeling that someone you know, someone close to you just committed suicide?
someone just let go of everything of the world, and now he's no more

yes, i loved the idea of suicide when i was young
not so much anymore...

image (c) .me flickr

2008-10-09T23:50:00.000+05:00

its been a year
nobody can explain love, how it starts how it ends, how it is, what it is
and i can't either
of course, i am loved by my family, friends and my boyfriend
but im not a good lover, coz i constantly hurt the people who love me, in one way or the other
im famous for hurting others
hehe

but its been a year, since "something"
and the year just went by, it feels good
and i hope that the years to come, will be much better

this feels good because a year means its serious
a year means its something which could be held upon
i can cling to it, whenever i feel like i want to

its not like i couldn't have done this whole clinging and things before a certain "year" has finished but it means that i can, and i will, i am, changing who i was
i can change completely
i can be with you forever

its hard for me to express my love for someone else mainly because i had shut myself up
atleast that part of me
and its corny to be all lovey dovey
but sometimes, when its like an anniversary
i just have to say this, or it be meaningless

i love you, too

image (c) .me flickr

sugar spoils us all

2008-09-26T23:59:00.000+05:00

who doesn't like sweet stuff?
well, very few of us
others just love it
candies, chocolates, even bajiya is made tasty by adding sugar
we add sugar when we drink tea, coffee or juice
plus, one of the ingredients needed to make the powerpuff girls is also sugar

sugar was first crystallized by the indians
no, this ain't a report, i'm just writing..

annyways,
even when we are breaking our fast, we need something sweet on the table
similarly, desserts are there after each meal

ofcourse with everything good, there comes bad stuff
obesity, tooth decay, yada yada

when we want a kid to do something, we go like, "hey, could you do this for me? i'll give you a sweet as a reward"
birthdays get along well with cakes
indians are known for their sweet tooth, they take sweets when ever they go visit someone
people call their loved ones sweetie, sweetie pie, or sweetheart, honey, or something related to sugar [or birds around here in male' [major eye roll]]

and the most silly part of this post is,
i'm writing about sugar and i don't know why
coz if i had wanted, i couldve written about spices, bitterness or sour thingies
but i chose sugar, and its sweetness

so lets ask a very important question to shweet
why did you choose the name "shweet"? (shweet with five e's to be exact)

going crazy

2008-09-22T00:00:00.003+05:00

the past just comes back and just mulhithaa fethureny dho?
i mean, even if you wanna forget the past, bury it or something
its just keeps on coming back!
sometimes its good, sometimes it ain't..

oh well, its making me insane!

i thought i wanted this planned life, where i knew what i was gonna do, roughly
but now, when i've actually kinda got it, i don't want it anymore
its like i want my old life back, full of problems and all, well, not full but, somewhat difficult than this
i sure am confusing, i cannot understand myself

theres just so much to everything..! EVERYTHING!

plus the politics!
bleh (loudly)
"who are you gonna vote for?"
"oh jeez, i dunno! lets read stupid politics blogs written by crazy politicrazy people!"

yes, im going crazy!!!

~ insane people are always sure that they are fine. its only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy ~ Nora Ephron

ey mi koacheh?
(c) .me flickr

majaa!

2008-09-12T04:12:00.006+05:00

people at my place wake up around 3.45 am or so to eat haaru
anyways, we were quietly eating and i had finished so, i was just sitting, having a chat
and our house is pretty old, you can hear all kinda squeaky stuff and all
plus, there was a burglar who came into our house last year

so annyways,
we were there, sitting and talking
and out of the blue, we hear the outermost door that goes upstairs open ingey
i didn't mind it but my sister started shouting
she shouted in such a scary way that i started screaming too!
my younger brother and mom also joined
and dad was like :|
hehe
and then he told us to stop and we stopped [eye roll]

and he went upstairs and checked and all
was juust the wind
happens all the time

eyge fahun my sis and bro couldn't even talk! they shouted so loudly!
and me, my throat still hurts
hehe
but it sure was fuun!

put up the coke pic coz im missing coke =(

2008-09-10T13:16:00.005+05:00

there are two types of people

one, who shows that if they want to ruin somebody, they'll do that no matter what
and then there are those who just fucking go behind your back and hurt you like hell
so, i've just got one thing to say
i don't care who you are, or whether my roadha is makrooha now or not

always, missing

2008-09-04T00:52:00.004+05:00

something is always missing, its true, humans desire for what they do not have
so is it healthy? i mean, always wanting for what you don't have?
does it drive us to chase after our dreams? if so, is it in a good way or in a bad way?

check out our own blogosphere, someones heart is broken, or someone is sad about their blog or their studies or maybe even not satisfied with the way their life is
sure, there are people with major major big MAJOR problems with their lives, im excluding them ofcourse

but in my opinion, the biggest problem we face is that we cannot pinpoint exactly what is missing in our lives
me? or well, you know, im in a self discovering phase right now
but im really sure what i'm missing right now at this moment [my red walls actually]

so, do you?

2008-08-28T23:11:00.003+05:00

the urge to continue my stoopid talk still goes on

school is getting to get unbearable, sitting all day long in that dreaded place is making me frustrated which directly affects the people around me, specially the close ones
i come out with rude remarks, weird faces and sometimes with no reply at all

about two days back i met this old friend and he told me to share with him coz its easier to be yourself around strangers, and i clearly told him that i do not share anymore, its a complete waste of time

after saying that, i realized that the once all "share and care" person has changed completely
who, or exactly what am i right now?

the days are going faster, everythings fast and im just so caught up in the middle of it that, i guess i cannot hold on
is this one of the reasons why people commit suicide? hmm.. i don't know (i ain't thinking about that ingey, im not that stupid)

i guess i'll just go and get mad now
taa~

image (c) .me flickr

lil side windows

2008-08-20T23:47:00.002+05:00

i was walking home from school the other day, and that too alone
and i was born a clumsy person
i go hit anything on the road, not the moving ones, the stationary ones :P
so i like not walking on the pavements, makes me look a lil less clumsy

anyways, there i was, walking really really carefully
trying not to hit anything on the way
but the those lil windows on the sides of cars are sometimes open when they are parked and i go bam! and hit those while i walk [they should give those people a "ticket"]
i dodged those and crossed the street to the non pavement side
but the heavy headed people who live in my road, park on both sides of the road!
eyoh varah balaigen dhiya eema ingeytha vee goiy?

nuthing happened! :P

edhogu, dhen kameh vaane ennu dho? kameh nuve dhen mi post liyaanetha dho?
liyefaane, mini mee kaaku? :P

aan dhen i went on and my shoulder hit a window of a lorry
lol
i was like, so pissed off! but heyn feshunee.. ehenthaa vaany, eyoh balaigen dho.. hingamun gossa badan! lorry ehga!

kurin dhuvahuves dhanikoh gos car ehga inn thankolheh nettun mini athun
not from my hands ingey, i was holding a bag
wasn't my fault, they shouldn't park on the wrong side of the road
specially near where i live :P

image (c) .me flickr

arranged luurrrve

2008-08-10T19:00:00.003+05:00

yesterday, my tuition teacher and we were talking about his marriage and stuff coz we tend to talk rather than work in our tuitions
so anyways, he was telling that he was gonna go to his homeland for the upcoming holidays and we just asked whether he was gonna marry his girlfriend this time
and he said that he didn't know, if his parents has found him a girl, he would marry her and live together
then we asked about his "girlfriend" and he said that her parents will willingly give her hand to his but thats if he asks

yes, the arranged marriage thingie which happens around here,
ofcourse our parents would know who and whats better for us most of the time and errrm.. their decisions are the best sometimes but.. arranged marriage.. can you imagine something like that?

lemme share a secret with you,
i used to love the idea, when i was a kid that is
mostly because i was in the whole "i hate boys" phase and all
but the idea just amazed me
two unknown people marry to make themselves and their parents happy
get kids
end up happily ever after

but thats difficult.. don't you think so?
i mean, we cannot survive a relationship, whats gonna happen when Maldivians undergo this process? obviously the divorce rate will double double double or something

but i wanna experiment on it though
so, if you are gonna marry someone that your parents like and you know, arranged koh, tell me
i wanna know all the details!
ingey?

and trust me, if i could have, i would have :P

image from me flickr
(c) .me

the other side of "friends"

2008-08-06T14:53:00.002+05:00

[somebody who trusts and is fond of another]

people always say, my friends are the best! they are just the best in the whole world
who betrays me are enemies, the bestest ones are my friends
true, we have friends, but they don't treat us well every time

yeah, i have complains, a lot of them
and yes, i may be a lil self centered, i understand that the whole world doesn't revolve around me and yet i have all these crazy thoughts
thats why i hate walking home alone, it makes me think
ive avoided thinking for sometime now, coz its useless

avoiding isn't the answer, but i have been avoiding. what i do best is avoid stuff, merely coz its easy. i know that my friends would read this, sometimes i hate coz people know who i am, and know that i have a blog and all, cannot write EVERYTHING here
coz its better having these people next to me rather than sitting alone at a corner in the classroom
i don't wanna be that pathetic

and why am i complaining? coz i feel like im left alone
yes, i am this quiet person who likes to watch rather than talk
im eighteen and im still trying to fit in and i feel like im alienated sometimes but what the heck eh?
i get to know important stuff like two three days later, or maybe one month later it has happened, and they try not to make it sound like its their fault
im no nosy prick who goes around looking at everyones beeswax

i like to know things about someone from that one if that one is a so called "friend"
and yet, at the end of the day, im the unhappy one
go figure!

[thinking]

2008-07-30T23:16:00.003+05:00

the last time i went to Eydhafushi, some cousins and i went for a walk
and, one of them was sitting near the unfinished ekkala raees ge faalan dho [got damaged due to the tsunami] and it was raining and all, eves reygandu
and suddenly, out no where, her dad came and told her to go home
only then i realized that i was the eldest in that group, and if anything had happened to her, i would have been the one to answer, and take the responsibility

its hard to come to terms with the fact that i am actually eighteen
i have been brought up in this protective environment where i have always been taken care of, no matter what happens
and being in CHSE also means that im in a school, and its my own problem that i think that i'm still a "lil girl" [although i dont act like a baby.. well.. i think i don't]

even among my dad's side cousins, im one of the "old" people and i like hanging out with my lil cousins
but now that i think of it, im the only one who actually hangs out with them instead of hanging out with people my own age, and, is it supposed to be inappropriate? or odd?
i find their company relaxing, and fun

but the hard part is still, the part about taking responsibility for all my actions
i cannot always hide under my parent's or brother's shade till the end of life
and i don't wanna think about it when i finish CHSE, then it would hit me hard when i start like going to a job or summin

so, im thinking now..
[thinking]

image (c) .me
flickr
eydhafusheega negi foto eh

if we all used our own names to blog, imagine how it would be

2008-07-27T22:48:00.002+05:00

[start imagining from this point]

the image of a wild cat would be shattered when you think of bulhaa
i-kko's cute lil name would be non-existent [in blogosphere dho :P]
instead of the shweet lil shweetness, munshidha would be used
nass would be, well, naseeh ^.^
fishy fishy dho, faizan
lavendary, i dunno your name [bodu eye roll!] lavendary dhen boa bodu ingey! mibunee dhen, ahem ahem!
blinky winky would be muna (not that bad!)
velvette? rooba! (i think i prefer rooba)
arra would be.. err.. umm.. wait.. lemme check facebook.. [checking] aan yes! aruf! :D (or is it wrong? =S)
maail would be maail, shaari would be shaari, xeeko would be xeeko, (well, actually, now xeeko is Xeekolicious ^.^), aesha will be aesha, shan will me shan, muawwaz would be.. (guess!) [molhethi meehun fene ennu?!]
grysko ah vaane gothehves neynge!
cappi vaany mode akah, dhen olheyny modespagesonline mode aa
shweetbubble will be suja, eyrun crazy suja aa olheyny o :P
anjelica would be hajja o.O
and then there are some blogger's whose real names i dunno
like s!lent, deunholyguy, bubblytoes, callι ριxєlғcuкєя, warmpixels, finifenmaa and moyameeha

anyways, just wanted to say that i love the blogosphere as it ees
watcha say?

image (c) .me flickr

fala vumakee massala ehtha?

2008-07-24T13:37:00.003+05:00

oh she's so pretty! long skinny legs, blah blah

its better when nobody says stuff at you on the road or when nobody really likes you at first site
i belong in the "chubby" category and i don't actually mind it, unless people point it out to me
"oh mini! you have grown so fat! lose weight! look at your tummy! its popping out all the time!"

gimme a break, i see myself in the mirror everyday
i am fat
and i don't mind it
and people don't actually have to remind that to me every time they see me

its not only me,
why do people feel happy when others say that that person looks slimmer than before?
because the word "fat" doesn't fall in the "bi-yoo-tiful group"

yeah, being obese is unhealthy
but shouldn't a person be comfortable in one's skin?

hell no! its always what others would think and thats how we go to the grave
nothing will change around here, nothing

coz theres just no hope

2008-07-17T19:53:00.005+05:00

the earth is falling apart
its just not Maldives
everything will just.. disintegrate soon, because its the way it would be... its the way it should be

all we think about is, us! we think like, after school, we'll marry, or have this awesome carrier, get kids, be on the top, know everything and just have a peaceful life
peaceful my foot
what is peaceful in this world? i find no place, nothing "peaceful"

perfection? nothing of that sort exists
earth is a momentary place, later will come hell and heaven, you choose
so why? why want to find the paradise on earth?

maldives, paradise? bleh!
it's falling apart like crazy
people are crazy
people are taking "stand up for your rights" too seriously
"i like maumoon", "no i don't! he sucks!"
if he sucks, why is he still in the "palace"?

everything's gonna go wrong for this country
it's just bad
and i don't even wanna think about other countries, eventhough i guess i would have to eventually migrate
coz of this damned country, damned from the start

and i'm .. scared...

the "love-hate" list tag

2008-07-17T16:10:00.004+05:00

i got tagged by amynabi, its pretty simple
list 5 things you hate & 5 things you love
then, tag at least 5 people

5 things i hate
tvm
cruel people
my phone
akon's songs
and,
not knowing what i actually hate

5 things i love
my family, friends, close people
my camera
eydhafushi
being happy
having fun

phew! that was difficult! sorting things, is difficult

so, i tag
mode, control freak, lavendary, bulhaa and anjelica

i, am lost

2008-07-11T16:28:00.002+05:00

to be or not to be
i say, its what you don't choose rather than what you choose

gulhuviyas mee dhen bodu varu!

2008-07-04T17:36:00.003+05:00

no offense both of you!
edit:
coz xef asked me how i took this photo, just thought of writing about it
i take my camera like where ever i go, and this is one of the photos i took while on my way to tuition
midhemeehun fenumaa eky photo nagaa hiyvejje dhen huri friend ah dhakkan
dhen hithah ery blog ah laany ey!
[aslu shweeetu bunee ingey! (A)]

you are what you love

2008-06-27T21:28:00.000+05:00

you are what you love
its often seen that eventhough the concept of "opposites attract" is popular, people with same hobbies and same habits find it easier to be with each other
whether it was easy or not, our own blogosphere has also had its share of "blog romance"
and its also been seen that after starting relationships, the partner of blogger's start blogging too
so the question is, is this good, or bad for our little community?

i cannot answer this question alone, mostly because i don't know the specific details about everything
and some people just get so pissed off after seeing what i write, so let me not mention any names

yeah, there are those who are happy and are still with each other, and then there are those, who broke up and wrote mean and really nasty stuff about each other, mostly indirectly, which was directly known to a lot of us :P
then there are those who don't write about it at all, which is okay i suppose, it's their own way of breaking up

i once posted about choosing a blogger you would like to date

now, i want you to join two bloggers, yes, choose two people you think who deserve to be together
doesn't matter if they are together or whether they aren't
and people, don't take this to your heart, its just supposed to be fun

i think the two bloggers i like to see together is,
♥ nass and maissan ♥

okay okay, now your turn!

image (c) .me from me flickr

this this thing!

2008-06-25T13:06:00.006+05:00

this particular thing happens to me a lot and its really annoying
so i just wanna know whether this thing happens to anyone else or not

its something like this, for example;
if today is a sunny day, my mind says that tomorrow would also be a sunny day, because today is sunny and their are no rain clouds visible to the eye
but my heart, or whatever it is, says that it's gonna rain tomorrow [maybe because i want it to rain tomorrow]
and then tandaa! the next day, it rains!

this is just a simple example
if like i think im gonna have fun today, i will have fun today
if i think school's gonna suck, it will suck big time, that is, eventhough i try to look at the bright side

is it just my mind? or something else?
if i think that munshi's gonna wear this pink dress, she comes wearing that! [not in a situation like she has worn it the day before or something, im not that dumb]
thats atleast something i cannot control! right?

so, does this happen to you guys? anyone?
[oh god, please don't let it be only me!]

ancient addiction

2008-06-23T17:29:00.005+05:00

since the beginning of mankind, people judged other people
hama fenna irah, "anhaa! mee gaddaa gola akah vaane kanneynge! vahtharakashennu hingany!"
its common to label these people too, the one who wears black, loose jeans and with arm bands are "partays"
the women who wear tight short dresses are whores, and those who wear bodu "ninja" burugaa are extremists
if then, who are normal?
no one!

in that case, why? why do we judge them?
when i was in aminiya, i thought that the girls who spoke in English were the self-centred bitches, coz lets face it, nobody used to talk in English, coz nobody followed those kind of rules

people assume too much, expect too much
others try to live up to that expectations and lose themselves while trying to be in the "in" crowd, and they too have their own judgmental opinions about others
and this process goes on, and on, and on, and on...!

there are actually really less people who stands up for themselves and doesn't care what others think and don't truly judge other people
or does those kinda people exist?

well, i try not to judge people, but its an old old habit
well, if Maldivians could win the Saff Championship, why can't i stop this eh? :P

^!^@^#^$^%&^*^(^)^

2008-06-13T03:26:00.005+05:00

yes, coming back to this is hard after taking a break
thats why i don't take breaks, but unfortunately [it would be fortunate if i get good marks] i stopped and now i just, haven't got the kick to start again
yeah, takes time

by the way, have you noticed that the whole "luuurve is in the air" and "oh feel sorry for me coz my heart is broken into a zillion pieces" kinda posts are less on mvblogosphere these days? me is so proud of you guys, finally growing up! [sniff sniff] [yeah i know i have written my share of love posts, not so much now eh?]

the whole week has had been such a drag, guitar hero kulhe kulhe vai vejje
i seriously don't feel like watching movies
i wonder what i would do after school is over! if this is my situation now, what could happen later? what would happen later? cannot even think about it
i miss my friends soooo much, they are like, people of my own age who are fun to hang out with! [couldn't think of a better example]

bleh~

couldn't even sleep

oh oh

[beep]

my mind just went blank o.O

image taken from me flickr

hate when this happens!

2008-06-09T12:39:00.002+05:00

when someone with an unknown number calls
and for some reason or the other i don't take it
and when im too lazy to drag myself near the computer and sms and waste rf.01 to find out who called me
and when this happens!

happens like all the time!
bleh!

~.~

2008-06-05T13:52:00.002+05:00

here i am, sitting near the computer
wondering what to write today
i have so much to say but, i don't know
i think what i have to say is just inappropriate
im too bodugulha these days, no more i am the girl in the crowd
i hate it when my relatives see my blog, dhombe is an exception, he's just, dhombe
i feel like making a new blog and be anonymous!
i might actually do that, so watch out :P

exams are over but i don't feel happy or anything
i just want to sleep tonight, sleep till i wake up or something
but when ever i sleep, something interrupts it! could be noise from my siblings or my phone
i seriously need to throw it away, its completely meaningless

well, yeah, im in a complaining mood
its like, i just miss the old days, and i know that it won't come back
sometimes i miss being heartbroken
hehe
yeah im weird

as i always say, everything's good, everythings okay
i guess ill just go clean my room, that'll help me clear my head

i will update,
i will, i will
^.^

blll

2008-05-31T08:18:00.001+05:00

okay, so they did it!
^.^

i could proudly say that this was my best birthday!

2008-05-23T12:28:00.003+05:00

me with me helium balloons ^.^

all in all, my birthday went juuust great
munshi texted around 2 saying that we are gonna have math tuition at 6, i didn't suspect a thing because that teacher tended to do weird stuff
and iekko called around 4 asking when ill be home, mini bunee after 5 ey coz i was fen nuvaraa and all
so i decided to take a shower and get ready by 5
dhen fen varaalaigen inee, inee inee inee, hama inee
and then i went to drink a glass of water, and inside the fridge was a humongous coke bottle [i tend to exaggerate sometimes] and food, dhen ehenve hithah ery, anhaa! tuition inn aissa kameh othy kanneynge ey, class emmenneh naannaane ey coz lil stuff to eat, ehemma munshimen ekanyey

dhen iekko and anjelica aissa gulheema nikuthee, i didn't know that there was no tuition! ehenve dhen iekko men dhiyaee :( [im sorry you guys! i didn't even expect gifts from you, so sweet of you! *hugz*]iekko dhinn, card making things making glittery coloury stuff

thankoo ^.^

anjelica dhinn faaruga ethi, hehe and sweet card too! i love it! thanx ^.^

aan dhen dho, irukolhakun dhorun vadhe beynjahamun munshiderr aa ashu aa maasha aa anif aa vadainfi happy birthday kiyamun, i was like.. "oooo" o.O [evarunves tuition ah dhaan ulhunin ingey!]
yeah i was surprised
hehe

heres the cake ^.^
its no ordinary countline aadhaige chocolate cake :D

munshimen gave me a pictionary, a mini pictionary :P and rings and that lil teeny weeny athuga alhaa ethikolhu which i was crazy about and glittery pens ofcourse

and this sweet card! it was made by munshi's nephew, he's really sweet, and different! when munshi asked why he has folded the card, he said that girls like it when the card is folded in different ways

hehe

hurihaa presents ge photo leema thimeehun vai vaanu dho? mihaaruves mi post maa dhigu vejje! ekam eba huri liyan huri echis! heyo nukiyas! but im gonna write :P

things i got,
helium balloons,
flowers,
pictionary,
rings,
glittery stuff,
door beads,
cards,
i even got a fothikolhu and a burugaa which matches it! hehe, it was given by anif's mom
my dad got tired of asking me what i wanted, i didn't say anything, so he just went and bought me a headphone, coz i always "borrow" the one upstairs
mom gave me money, she said, neynge o dheyne echeh! hehe
luby and iyu, my siblings, made a card and didn't give it to me! miadhu hendhunu ingunee hedhikanves! it was lovely!

but it wasn't the gifts that mattered, i mean, gifts will rot away and all, but what you did for me, well, it was just, great
i mean, munshi ashu and maasha and rafla [eye roll] had exams and they did it anyway, they could have done it later, ekamves, awwwww [fen kalhi vefa]
fishy ves aiy, so sweet of you :D
dhen classmates ves ayo :D and haakko gave me a coke fulhi ^.^
and anif vaahaka nudhekkiyyaa rangalhu vaany! he's the sweetest boyfriend anyone could ever get! ehemmmaaaa, hehe.. i don't know how to write romantic stuff [sorry nif :P]

i just have so much to write!
i'll write it later, maaaa dhigu vejje!

1st part

2008-05-22T00:32:00.006+05:00

so this time, on my birthday, i wanted to write a post which would be updated like whenever something happens, which would make me feel more excited about it
hehe

well, for me, the excitement part is almost over, people have wished
hehe
umm, the first one was my boyfriend, and he "surprised" me with 10 roses, yes, i got flowers! hehe, for the first time in my life and he says that the presents are not over
and please, note that the second person to wish me was rafla, because she claims that she would "kill me" if i don't pressure this point
then there came munshi, and a surprise, iekko! i wasn't expecting it, thanx :D
and then part, ofcourse, he called me before 12 too
and then, haakko, a classmate from school, wasn't expecting that either
and the sweetest thing happened, suja called, i wasn't expecting it at all, sweetest thing! i must say, it was really sweet of him.. couldn't talk much though, i was all, thank you and, bleh
and yes, shamaail, was kinda expecting it, he's a sweet friend
and shifag! hehe, haakko's boyfriend, wasn't expecting that either
yes, there was a call from a wataniya number, and i didn't know who she was, and i talked really weirdly because i thought that it was maasha, but it wasn't
hehe

umm.. and some people sms'd
hafsa, mary from school, my boyfriend's mom, even my dad, he said the sweetest thing
"happy birthday dharifulhaa. love daddy"
sweet eh? ^.^
sayyah, ima, and shafy texted too, and amr! he sms'd beforehand, hehe
mashroof forgot the time because of a match! hmph!

and finally, nahuvi called, he said he was in the toilet when he remembered
and i just wanted to write about it, here, to make him feel bad :P
but i felt good, almost everyone i cared about called me, almost everyone
well, everyone has the rest of tomorrow,
ill keep updating ^.^

i know that the picture isn't good, im just sleepy!

o.O

2008-05-18T22:18:00.003+05:00

a friend of mine, he's weird
weird is wrong, lets say, peculiar
i was waiting outside school today, after the last class and just talking about the usual stuff
and this friend of mine, his thoughts are really absurd, most of them don't make sense, but its fun
anyways, he was just chatting away, and out of no where, he said
lets say his name is "N"
"ey e ulheny reygandu vaan dho" so i turned to N and i made this face, which umm.. hehe
you know, the kind of face where you tell people that you are concentrating on what they are saying, but you are over-doing your actual expression?
bleh!
so, anyways, i looked at him said, "uhuh, reygandu veema dhen kihineh vanee?"
and N said, "reygandu veema N nidhaany, dhen N nidheema dhuniyeyga ulhey ehen N eh heylaany"
and i was like
o.O

what if that happened?
hehe, another Meefau will wake up who lives on the other side of the world when i sleep?
so what?!
hehe

oh and btw, the last post isn't about my current bf, this thingie happened around last year
just wrote for some of you who thought it was about anif and i

in image : him, taken on his birthday

!!!!!!

2008-05-13T23:44:00.004+05:00

i like to control my anger, yes i do
but now its over the limit!
ive kept it inside of me, for a very long time indeed
and i just need to get it out right now
eves olhuvaalaafa
why?
becuz, i have to protect his teeny weeny identity
this goes out to you, you you!

i took all the blame, and you said, no mini, i understand, its not your fault
i told you to get angry at me, and you said, no mini, i understand
your friend got angry at me, but you said nothing much about it
and then! you moved away! and when you got online, suddenly!!!! you thought that i was wrong all the time, and that you'll never, never talk to me again!
fine!!!! i don't care! i lost a friend! but i know that i hurt you dammit!
and still! it wasn't enough was it?
i mean cmon dude, you have a gf now! you got her like 1 and a half months after our "thingie" ended! you are the one with the happy ending!
you got someone better, didn't you? someone you could rely on!
fine, you deleted me from facebook, fine, she deleted me from msn
fine! she deleted me from facebook
and now, twitter too?
seriously dude, you got angry and my brother, and told your girl not to speak to him
and now she speaks to my brother, and not to me?
its not fair! its like, urgh!
im just angry, coz, you didn't give me a fair enough reason, why? i broke your heart, you moved on, but why now? still?
life's unfair! at least its good for you now!

i was in love with a guy for such a long long time, and i found out that he liked someone else and didn't tell me, i have still forgiven him, why can't you just, let it go? don't forgive me, just let it go will ya?

taken from me flickr

>memories<

2008-05-12T23:10:00.003+05:00

the act of the whole looking at all photographs
[sigh]
ive been going through some of the old photographs lately
good good times..
when my younger brother and sister were small, they looked so cute, and less troublesome
im not sad that they grew up, im just disappointed because i cannot remember them at that age

old photographs of friends, some of them, i dunno their names, but each of them are special i suppose
i like taking photographs because it captures the moment, the perfect moment, so that i could remember it later
my memory is kinda, it doesn't function correctly most of the time
what i store in my mind is just pure rubbish
the important stuff, i forget
i take photographs to remember those special teeny weeny moments, i take care of them, put them into folders and just, keep them safe to make myself happy later
but, some of the photographs, well, makes me think of what could have been, instead of what is right now at this moment
i don't regret my decisions, i used to, but not now though
[sigh]
photographs!

image (c) .me
taken at a friend's place, the old A(mini)ya gang

friends, life, >me<

2008-05-08T19:20:00.003+05:00

people are obsessed with the idea of sadness, most of us think that there is nothing beyond sadness and that happiness is just an illusion
it could be, and it could not be
well, i have a lot of friends, different kind of friends
i used to be close to a lot of them, but now, because i don't get online much, i've just lost touch with them
hmm, most of them, well, they were very stressed and all were, kinda, lonely
i guess they just get online to talk to someone and just forget for a while that they are actually friendless
and i used to have the same thoughts too
but now, because i don't chat much, my friends are the ones in my class, my friends are the ones around me in school and they are nice, and friendly, and yes, happy
maybe, maybe i cannot see whats beneath their faces
maybe they are hiding it all, under a smile or a laugh
but its nice, its nice now, to see people around me, to hear people talk much more other than their loneliness,
a lot has changed, people think that CHSE is a waste of time
no, its not, not for me
because i used to be this quiet person who didn't have the guts to talk to people, who was always sad, who always looked at things from the negative view and now, im just me
i like the new me
im happy, yes, happy, ive got a great boyfriend, ive always had a great family, and ive got great friends, eventhough the teachers suck, they are good people, hehe
and ive got you guys, my blogger buddies,
hmm.. everythings.. almost everythings good
now lets see how i do in my exams eh?
wish me luck!
^.^

burthday annany o ^.^

2008-05-07T00:33:00.007+05:00

birthdays are just, birthdays i guess
ive always looked forward to my birthday, i always expected great great things to happen
but i was always left disappointed
and then i discovered something called "not having expectations"

and presents! its like i get them because i throw parties, thats cruel! and urgh! i don't like what i get most of the time, seriously! [no offense buddies]
i seriously am running out of space to keep stuff, my cupboards are full! and some stuff, are too big to put inside cupboards!
and teddies?! bleh~ my bed's full, if i get one more of it, ill just have no space for me to sleep
its just that, because my closest buddies give me presents, i cannot throw it away, and its just there, taking my bed space..
so! i decided to make a list, and before i write anything, im just saying that i don't have any expectations or anything, some friends might just want to give me something, and fureeeeeku! was trying to gimme a doctor set, [seriously, not my thing!, ekam dhey hiyvanyaa dhinas heyo, i can play with my sis] im just trying to figure out what i want so here goes nothing,
in no particular order,
- a transparent polka dot umbrella
- transparent rain coat, transparent red? ooo.. o.O
- a cool ringtone, my current one is bodugulha, i need something nice, like the sound of an acoustic guitar, soft at first and fahun kudukoh baaruvaa gothah!
- rings of every possible colour, ring bands, not ones with flowers and stuff
- no exams on my birthday
- bubble aruvaa fulhi eh, bubble aruvaa gun eh! salhi vaane!
- a cake other than countline cake, i like the ones with whipped cream
- a backpack, a unique one ofcourse
- a key chain, present one is old and it should be big, so that i can just put my hand in me handbag and take it out easily
- coke
- 18 helium balloons
- money to cut me hair ^.^
- a ride on the coke taxi, and a photo outside the coke taxi with a coke bottle in my hand and behind me should be a shop with coke adverts
- a lot of my friends to wish me, wishing is better on the phone, definitely not cool on the facebook wall and texting sucks big time, face to face is just, the best! and i just want one particular person to remember my birthday and just wish me, i don't care in which way
- a movie, anything nice would be fine
- all glittery pen stuff, im trying to be artistic, as im broke most of the time, i have to have something useful so that i can make something for my friend's birthdays!
- some kinda surprise! not a surprise party or something but just something unexpected! now don't stay without wishing me, that sucks big big big time
- a flower maybe, just a simple flower
- ice cream :D
- door beads, a reddish coloured simple one would be perfect
- small paint tins, blue, yellow, green, purple, pink and orange
- some kinda red dye something, i wanna change my hair colour, there should be an advantage for wearing burugaa right?

what i definitely don't want!
a burugaa, fothigandeh, frames or bahattaa echis!!!!

what i want is silly and i might just not get it but who cares eh?
all i want is just, to be with my family and friends and just live another year
putting up a list might be corny but, i don't know
*siiigh*

image, my fav b day cake
2005

one unpleasant day

2008-05-03T10:13:00.010+05:00

yesterday, when i was doing this and that, i started to realize that my room stinks big time! it smelled like pure, kuni rotten eggs
i thought that it must be from angie, it now lives in one of the vai golhi [air square] in the house
and when it became unbearable, i told dad about it, and he said, "thivaany dharifulhu ge kotari nusaafu koh baavvaathee kamah"
yeah, my room is messy, and i like it that way
its just a lot of books on the table, on the bed, on the floor, and lots of clothes on the rack
i like it that way, makes it more cozy
but hello? rotten egg smell!!!
and then, i told mom
she told dad again, and then he went inside and said, "dharifulhuge faahanainney!"
okay, so i let it go, i went to rifu the thui's house coz yukiks was giving a birthday treat
was fun, with the old gang
anyways, back to the foul smell
i came back, and kamaku dhaakah neiy! the smell continued
so i started sniffing around, wasn't pleasant at all! such a horrible smell! i was about to die! [eye roll]
so, reygandu veema i couldn't check out places closely, coz of jinni vaahaka mom tells,
anyway, i concluded that the smell was coming from opposite the bathroom, from the other air square in my room!
shame on me, i thought poor angie did it
its a clean lil thing

and so, i couldn't sleep last night, coz i have a perfectly working nose, and it was just, too disgusting! [im running out of words to describe horrible horrible stuff now] i actually slept upstairs in me old room, thank god and dhombs, for the extra bed :P

and the sun came up once again, i got up at 7.30 and went into my room, ready to die ofcourse
and took all my books from the table [and put it on my bed. now my bed looks like my table] and climbed on the table and looked out
and much to my horror!
[shock shock shock!!!]
[followed by a BIG SHOCK!!!!]
lay a dead rat

and poor dad, much to his disappointment, he has to take it out
yes, its still there, and guess what? mom made bashi today
now my room smells like bashi maruvefa oiy meedha vas
[no, my room isn't the kitchen]

a may post

2008-05-01T09:56:00.004+05:00

Oh the bright sunshine of May,

the wind, the sky, the sea
don't you just love May?
It's pretty much like April and June
but, don't you just adore May?
i love May sooo much
^.^
[yeah im in a weird mood, i hate this post]
[well, i don't find any reason in loving a month, but i like May more than any other month anyway]
[my post is so corny!]
[mom made murangatholhi kirugarudhiya today! i love today!]
[so coz today is the first of May, and coz i love today, i love May :D]
[with several other reasons ofcourse]
[i don't know why im writing in brackets]
[maybe im catching the 5 e's syndrome]
[god help me!]
[hmm]
[smiile!]
image (c) .me taken from me lil flickr
[May starts with M, so does m&m, i want m&m :\]

(grade 12 buddies, gimme a lecture now)

2008-04-27T10:19:00.003+05:00

i've resisted myself of writing a post merely because i know that what i'm gonna write is gonna be a complete complain list,

school is just ripping my head off
yes, there was definitely once a time when i wanted to go to school and study and all
but now, its like adding weight onto my head, school sucks big time
and humans! tend to exaggerate a lot eh?
hurihaa vaahaka ehves dhakkaany bodukollaigen!
im just tired of all this, tuitions, school, friends, even gossip!
its like all we do is pointless!
exams start next month, and then after the exams, grade 12,
i even have exams on November, and then on January and then again next year this time, how on earth am i supposed to do it all?
(yeah i guess im making a mountain out of a molehill!)

but everything at home is hama baraabaru,
and i still have this headache today!

wish i could
just
take
a
break!

image (c) .me

water, eyes,

2008-04-23T00:17:00.005+05:00

the cries,

the pain,
the swollen eyes,
the redness of it,
the taste of salt,
cold,
bathroom,
shower,
cold,
water,
drip,
drip,
drip,

and after all of that,
life feels good!

image (c) .me
taken from me flickr

update on me life ^.^

2008-04-20T22:43:00.004+05:00

i won the raajjetv majaa contest, it was fun
specially last night, neck to neck competition, im sorry for the other guy's loss (ahsans friend), but it was for my brother
yeah, my younger brother
remember? it was my sister before, she kinda told my dad that she wanted one ipod shuffle, so he bought her one
and my brother? fensiru ahamaidhee ah dhuleh nukuraane! beynunvejje
so, that was for him,
he was quite happy
hehe

and yeah the meet up was okay, i mean with the raajjetv people, im a shy person and i kept quiet for most of the time but, oh well, im sorry guys, if you guys thought that i was rude, well, i wasn't! im just a shy shy person [gondi fahathah vadhe filaifi!]
and other stuff in my life dho, theres a lil bunny in me home, belongs to my younger brother, its all white and grey and fluffy, i still haven't carried it, it kinda creeps me out
but its fun to watch! i haven't actually seen any animal like that live here before, its called anjy by the way (pronounced like ane-jee) my brother wanted to call it super speed loony, but it didn't get enough votes, sister wanted to name it angel, and mom told anjy! so, easy :D
rifu loves it, im looking forward for her comment
she loves ollie, and now anjy! hehe
she says she wants a hamster, and a lil wabbit :P

sigh
me?
im just tired of school, school is fun, but the classes are so boring
and im having this constant set of headaches, sucks big time
if this is my state during AS, i dunno what would happen next year
its not AS! its not even something personal, i just hate everything, i wanna be that stupid emotional girl i was sometime back! the all emotionless posts, i miss it
maybe im in a transition state of some sort
bleh~

@shaari: ive used my own photos this time, hopefully, you'll see more.. thanx for the idea, although it was already in me lil mind before ^.^

mobiles,

2008-04-18T19:04:00.004+05:00

1 in 2 adults in the Maldives use a mobile phone - a record for South Asia )-from dhiraagu-(
even children get mobile phones around here,

i don't like carrying my phone around
its heavy, i have to subconsciously think about where i kept my phone 24/7
people judge others from the phone they use, if its a nokia "bahthi", ei kada meeheh
if it's the latest phone, you go like "ooo! you have so much knowledge about the changing world!"
if it's lost, have to buy another one, which should be as good as the previous one
moodhah erey iru eyaa eky erevejiyyaa dhuvas dhiyaee
binmachah vetti fundu fundu vedhaane
phone ge software kada kamun slow kamun dhiriulheveykah noannaane
camera kada vaane
speakers kada vaane
ekam lava alhanvaane, lava jahanvaane, photoves naganvaane
abadhu onnaany re-charge kuran vefa
wataniya vareh noannaane, dhiraagu vareh naannaane

but hey! helps to communicate!

image (c) amirajuli

are titles necessary for all the posts?

2008-04-15T21:24:00.004+05:00

my younger brother talks a lot, some stuff are nonsense, most of it anyway
and sometimes, he what he says is really really intelligent!

like tonight, we were watching tv, [yeah i had nothing else to do, needed to release math from my mind] he said, "abadhuves tv inn dhakkaany reethi meehun!"
and i was like o.O !
that is actually true!

of course we were watching star plus or sony, can't remember which and yeah it always shows soaps and those kinda stuff so, yeah, they cast the most beautiful and talented people they get
thats why people wanna be like movie stars, pwetty and everything
even the reality shows show the attractive people

nobody cares about the whole "inner beauty" thingie
hell! nobody even bothers to talk or even think about it anymore!
its just the beauty outside that matters!

sometimes, i effing hate it!

image (c) Mushy-Pea

no woman no cry, sure?

2008-04-13T10:36:00.006+05:00

there are posts about men and women and whatever is wrong about them and women defend themselves and men does the same, but, whats the use when the facts are correct?
i believe that women cry a lot [a lot!] more than men and i wonder why men cry so much!
i don't want to do any research on it, i blame the crying of women on hormones

okay, so, men ^.^
i asked around a few men and these are their answers

da last i cryd wen my uncle died dat was last yr havn cried since then

Umm i cant remember the last time i cried
I think i cried last in grde 7 cause my lip got busted open in the fight

i can bearly cry
y is tht
when i am sad some times i cant cry
i mean cmon when some one close to me passes away
i wanna cry n i culd not cry
n some times i end up crying for no reasons other then something in ma eye or irritating if lens
i cry like 3 in a year
n some times none in a year

long time

5 times a year

dhe aharun eh aharu

funny answers actually, the first one is okay, he cried when something major happened, i asked everyone the exact same question, so the details weren't necessary but, they cry less don't they?

and then, i asked women ^.^

at a rate of twice a month

rarely [with an eye roll]

on a daily basis

at least once a week

anyway, even with or without my research, i guess my point is clear

now my guess, or theory is that, men want to be strong, its quite an image built by them isn't it? no woman no cry, as if men never cry, men do cry
its just wrong that when tears come up, women are mentioned first
true, women cry more than men but! men cry too!
there was once this guy, who was crying over the phone [eye roll] it was just urgh!
well, now i see no point in this post!
why do men cry less?! pissss.. boa govaifi! [confused varah bodukoh!]
at least i don't want them to cry in front of me, [or on the phone] (one particular person excluded)

so my theory is that, men don't cry coz women don't want to!
so, at the end of the day, men blame women!

image (c) buttonnose

[i think i've used the words men and women which would be enough for a lifetime!]

the art of walking

2008-04-10T22:46:00.003+05:00

yeah yeah, everyone walks differently, everyone has their own style
me? oh well, when i walk, i don't move my arms much
mom used to say that i look like a robot, but, its easier that way, coz when im flapping my arms around, i feel like people are watching me and mocking me or something o.O
anyways, i see people moving and walking around as if they are listening to some song or something, moving around to a rhythm
some walk so fast that its hard to even imagine myself walk at that speed
some people are so slow that i wanna kick their ass and make them walk faster [not the sick people ingey! im not that cold hearted!]

anhaa! and the people who walk to the other direction, mini hingaa kolhu noon aneh kolhah hingaa meehun, pis pis! vaa baeh ei! nudhaane sahalu gothakah! they walk as if they own the pavement or something.. tut tut
oh well, point inn katany kanneynge!
well, don't move your arms much, or else! you will be attacked by me and shweeeeet's emmennaa behey anga thah! so watch out! :P

image (c) .me
from me flickr

tin tin tin tin tinnnnn!!!

2008-04-09T09:56:00.003+05:00

i've always wondered about stuff people could hate about me, its like, rarely someone says it to the face and its weird and its a huge slap on my face but, its okay i suppose, better knowing in another horrible way
so my dear bloggie friends, i want you to write something horrible about me, and then something you like about me maybe
you don't have to write anonymously, its time to use the guts inside you :P
so speak up!!!

let me start
what i hate about me is that my mind speaks but it doesn't come to my mouth
and i like my bloggie's header!

now, your turn!

image (c)

ive grown out of the "..." phase!

2008-04-06T22:50:00.003+05:00

i've always liked those posts about how much a person has evolved since like, an year or so, and people usually do that on their birthdays or on new year but my birthday is still a lil far away, and i so wanna write about it, so here i am, writing,

during the last year, i learnt that, not many people get the first person they love, but! they could get another person and could love that person more than you loved your first love! great ain't it?
and, i learnt that everyone makes mistakes even though you are double checking what ever you do, and that sometimes you get blamed for things you don't do deliberately, and you just have to let go of it
i learnt, that im not who i was before, and i don't unnecessarily have to be, because whatever i do, whatever i say, i will be me, mariyam meefau rasheed
i learnt that if i am satisfied with myself, i cannot be even slightly hurt by anyone
i learnt that life should not be planned out, i learnt that sometimes the most perfect things turn out to be the most imperfect, and i learnt how to accept that fact

the past year was good, i have grown a lot, emotionally, physically, mentally, whatever-ally, and im happy with myself, im happy with where i am now, i am happy
and i guess, thats what matters
right?

image (c) MultiCurious

mine is called martial arts!

2008-04-04T00:52:00.004+05:00

so theres this competition on raajjetv and the winner gets an ipod shuffle
now, i put a video in it and it is funny! so do vote for me coz im not doing this for me but for my lil sister
shes wanted one for like, ages! so please do help us out!
this is when bloggers should help their fellow bloggers!
hehe
and if you like someone else's video, feel free to vote for that person
but mine is better!
click the link, register, vote, and spread the word!
thank you :D :D :D!!!